brokenheart_ed (brokenheart_ed) wrote in paperlove,

Lost and confused.

Dear X,

I'm sorry, I know this sounds really really dumb, but I really really love you.

I know that you told me that I should not ruin my friendship with you and I really understand why. But I just cannot pretend that I never harboured those feelings for you. I hate myself for this, because I really want to merely treasure you as a friend. Sometimes I wanted to be a pillar of support for you, I wanted to be there for you when you need people whom you can confide into. But, I'm a greedy person, and I want to be more than just a normal friend to you. Heh.Even I'm disgusted with myself for that greed.

It hurts everytime when I see you, hear you, even when someone talks about you. Ironic isn't it? I want to be with you, yet I feel pain when i see you. Despite the pain, I must still maintain this facade that I'm actually very happy and okay, even when I'm not. Heh. I'm just like a hypocrite and a loser, I have to bury all these feelings for you, even though it is excruciating to do so. Distancing myself from you is not an easy task. You have no idea how much pain I had gone through, just to make this decision.

Still, after everything said and done, I will still respect your decision. I will stand by you, I will support you in everything you want to do. I will watch you for a suitable distance. I will not bother you with this ever again. Be happy, for yourself.

I love you too much to forget you.


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