Paper Love's Journal

Paper Love's Journal [entries|friends|calendar]
Paper Love

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[15 Aug 2009|10:07pm]

dear alcohol,

you make getting off work much easier!!!



Lost and confused. [15 Mar 2009|10:32pm]
just needed to get this out. Collapse )


[24 Sep 2008|01:01am]
to anyone

i wish none of you could ever feel the way i do right now. im sick. my family life is shit. my best friend doesnt want to be there anymore. its sad when people feel bad and cant put that aside for a friend in need. she says i pity myself most even when i dont have to. she thinks im selfish self absorbed. all i wanted was a little more love but she felt too bad about the given situation to even try. she claims she tried but it wasnt anything. i wish there was someone who could love me enough to put these things aside. i need someone who can at least, right now that im so weak make me feel like im an exception.

i wish you all a wonderful night and i hope that nobody is as sad as i am.
2 secrets

ugh, this is really cheesy, but here goes [14 Mar 2008|12:44pm]
Dear KB,

Yeah, this is going to be really dumb. And bad. But... I like you. I really, really like you. And it's kind of funny, because I'm writing this in the library right now, and there you are, standing not ten feet away from me, and I wish I could tell you all this and have it not freak you out. I've liked you (on and off) since first term freshman year. I got over you and eventually started dating A when I found out you were with someone else, but... the truth is that you've always managed to catch my eye, and make me really, really happy whenever I talk to you. And for a while, it hasn't bothered me that you don't want to be anything other than friends. But at the same time, you're the only person I've considered going out with since A and I broke up that I haven't been indifferent to or upset about. You just make me happy. I hope that you never read this, because I'm afraid it will just freak you out and make you not want to talk to me ever again. But I also hope that if you do read it, maybe you'll give me a chance.


Yeah, I need to get my head out of the clouds and stop wishing for romance. It's just a pain in everyone's ass. Honestly? A part of me never wants to love again.
1 secrets

[29 Apr 2007|08:09pm]
Dear you,

Lately I've been feeling that you've only been a little concerned about me and I guess, it's okay and I guess, I'm going to have to get used to it but it's been different and it's been difficult. Lately I've been feeling that we've been falling apart and that it's just been too hard or it'll probably be too complicated to admit. I'd be okay with this particular arrangement if you wanted it or if you deemed us hopeless, the only problem is, I feel like I need you. I know, it's odd, it's pretty damn dependent to flat out admit that you need somebody but fuck them all, maybe I'm weak and I just need you. Maybe it's the feeling of knowing that someone's around but maybe not because if it were just that, it'd be easy to let you go. I think it's just having you, having known you, knowing that it's far too difficult to find anyone else who understands me. Or maybe it's just cause I'm used to you, nah, maybe not. I don't know anymore, maybe this, maybe that. It's just, I want to feel like I'm important to you and I nag you about making me feel that way but that alone isn't right. I know I am but lately, I feel like I haven't been lately. I haven't been enough, you haven't been giving enough, maybe that's the problem.

Dear you,
By the time you discover this is me, I'm hoping (really hoping) that this and everything horrible I'm keeping bottled in myself ends because I don't know what to do and I don't know how long I can wait.

[11 Mar 2007|05:39pm]

dear R,

You used to be everything.
I bid you farewell.

I love you W.

Yrs truly,F

[07 Nov 2006|06:17pm]

Dear darling,

Its been quite a long time  since you met me 
i missed you alot 
i missed the after school things that we always do before you were mine
Hence everything changed since im ures and we are in holidaes
i missed our constant lovely laughter that echo down the blocks
i missed our constant foolishness smiles after millions of sillyness
i missed our constant messages that ends with sweet lovely words
i missed our  constant togetherness that ends when there's a call 
i missed all that 
To the fact i missed you even more now that your away and me stayin here
constantly waiting for your calls that you missed
For your messages that you never left by me
I understood your busy and the fact you never gave an infomation
on ure whereabouts 
I know im getting paranoid to you
Hence constant heartbreaks left me shreaded
i preparing for the worst even though i try to avoid all that 
Will you ever realise that tears flows down each night that breaks to dawn
I cried to sleep realising to the fact you have really changed in your ways
i wished you wouldnt changed and be what you were darling
s0mehow rather i think i lost you down the line 


[29 Oct 2006|04:49pm]

Dear Self,
Please shut up and go studying. I don't know if you know it, but you've got some tests tomorrow. They're quite important, hun.
Oh, and if you don't plan to study please write. But don't do nothing.

[20 Oct 2006|11:22pm]

[ mood | wind pounding my heart ]

Dear Explanation Of A Nice Day,

Its time to move, I’m beginning to hate the feel of my skin when close to you. I should have never let you be an indulgence. Two years ago when your smiles where like your name, I felt secure in my daydreams, I worked out, I thought you wouldn’t become fat around my hips.

Sugar is addictive.

I have seasonal depression.

Please get over whatever holds you back. Please get over the hill; we’ll watch the day begin again. Please get over whatever you’re under. No, no stay there, stay. I’m already forced to watch the sunrise by myself…

But never alone.

- an olive branch


Paper Fetish [24 Sep 2006|06:03pm]

When I was a little kid, before I could read and write, I carried books and journals with me everywhere I went. I think I definitely have a paper love.

[24 Aug 2006|12:42pm]

Dear Princess,

I haven't seen you around much lately. I wonder sometimes if you're still at all upset about things, about life...If so, then don't worry. As always, we're floating in the same boat, if not because we're both confused, then at least beacuse we're still friends.


[25 Jul 2006|01:12pm]


the final countdown [07 Jul 2006|08:59am]

[ mood | rejuvenated ]

dear me,

words have a way of failing me when i need them, so i'll keep this short and sweet. i hope, and am optimistic, that this is truly the beginning of a brighter, lighter chapter in my life. misery doesn't suit me, particularly since i have no real reason to be miserable. angst is extraordinarily unbecoming in anyone who isn't (a) in high school, or (b) amanda palmer. anger is just bad, bad, bad.

so goodbye to all that. goodbye to the unholy trinity, the ignoble triumverate. goodbye, lilith; hello, aurora.


la haine, je la jete [04 Jun 2006|08:51pm]

[ mood | mellow ]

dear mr. man,

how are you? it's been so long, and so much has happened, and every now and then i wonder how you are. i hope you're well. i really do; i always have.

in case it matters, i'm doing all right. i'm not bitter or angry or sad, except on isolated occasions, and even then the bad feelings are basically just directed towards myself.

anyway. life is too short to get bogged down in negativity. let's drink to sunny days.



anymore [12 May 2006|03:34pm]

dear god,

if you take away the night,
i will not be able to write.

D: [10 May 2006|04:10pm]

[ mood | frustrated ]

dearest c.,

it's great how you fault other people for the steamroller method of argument, when you yourself employ that particular rhetorical strategy, oh, all the time.

get a clue. stop talking. start listening.

affectionately (honest!),


[11 Feb 2006|06:11pm]

Dear community,

I was curious.

If I started a project where I would ask people to actually mail me letters like this,
would anyone participate?

Sort of like postsecret, but letter form. It can be to anyone, it can be written, typed, collages, anything, as long as it is a letter, and you don't have to put the return address.

I thought this might make a cool website thing.

Let me know what you think.

3 secrets

hmph. [09 Feb 2006|07:46pm]

[ mood | nitpicky and nerdy ]

dear community,

i like you lots, but it bothers me that you have "the venitian's wife" on your interests list. it's spelled "venetian".

hugs and kisses,

5 secrets

[14 Jan 2006|02:07am]

[ mood | sad and cheeky ]

dear paperlove.

it's funny, but until i met you, i wasn't aware that love/hate of paper bled through souls. sometimes it's amazing what you learn, and you learn it so suddenly that it pains your heart (soul) with the sheer beauty of it.

(the thing is i'm still not sure about the whole bleeding of the soul thing.)

love to you,

p.s. hey paperlove.. friend. may i call you friend? i'm going to call you friend. don't blame me. it's just, friend, in hong kong some of the people wore paper masks over their faces and that scared me more than a little. and it was normal, it was oh so normal. it shouldn't be normal. friend. that's all.


in a princedom by the sea. [04 Jan 2006|07:36pm]

[ mood | my brain is funny. ]

dear e.,

about a week ago, i had a dream about you. when i was in love with you, i used to dream about you too. but those were sappy and ridiculous. this one is ridiculous, but not sappy. it's funny. i bet you'd laugh if i told it to you.

c. and i were walking along huntington ave., and catching up and such, and we passed you as you walked the opposite direction. you probably saw us, but you did that thing you do, where you just stare ahead and don't acknowledge that you did see anyone. (i know that trick too. did i get it from you? i don't know.) as i was saying, we passed, and c. and i looked at each other, nodded, and squealed, "he's hot!"

so rejoice, for in my dream, you are hot.

every now and then [i get a little bit lonely and you're never coming 'round...], i wonder what would happen if we did meet. would it be comfortable? awkward? how soon would it come up that i stopped mooning over you, that i have someone new? how soon would i try to find out if you have anyone? would you confess your undying love for me? would i expect you to do that, and then feel mortally wounded when you didn't?

well, anyhoo, e., i hope you're doing well. i hope you've cheered up and mellowed out. as i've mentioned, my subconscious still thinks you're wicked hot, so keep on rocking in the free world.



[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]